Wednesday, May 5, 2010

...The Odds

If you read through all my posts, I'm sure you're wondering, "Was he prosecuted?" The answer is no. No report was ever filed. There were times in my teens that she accused me of lying about him, saying it to get attention. Those words were very hurtful and rooted a deep resentment inside me.

Once my husband and I began dating, she convinced me I was a "slut" and "whore". As an adult, I see those moments for their truth. She was jealous of my happiness. If envy is her friend, then I'm sure for her to see where I am in my life now, she is surely green.

I'm slowly learning to forgive myself. As the memories return, dreams haunt my nights. Reminded of feelings I had long forgotten, leaving now the fear of sleep in their wake, the dreams seem very vivid. I know my husband has one of the toughest jobs of all, because his feelings of anger about my abuse are hard to cope with for him.

This is not the end of my story. Only the beginning. I have many other facets of my life I would love to share. I'm an advocate for breastfeeding. One aspiration I have is to someday return to college and pursue my Certified Lactation Consultant's License. Someday...

1 comment:

Mommy Joy said...

If I ever have any more, you can give me lactating advice!